K", so yeah holiday has already started...
I should be full of enjoyment and excitement all around, but i don't.
Soo, many things have happened this week n they're not all that good.
Plus, i did bad things, things that i'm not proud of, but i had to do it bcause i'm selfish and other reasons.
This is just the start of the holiday and i'm already this disappointed in myself. I hate me really.
You see, my class here is gonna rent a villa in Lembang for all of us to stay there for a few days. It sounds fun doesn't it? Indeed i was interested... i mean, everyone's gonna join and i just hope that i can still have so much fun there.
Unfortunately, people started to bail.
and there's only a few people who are gonna stay in that villa.
Then it got me thinking, maybe i should bail to!
Then there i go so recklessly, bailing myself to go to the villa..
But things don't end there since my friend who's in charge of this whole thing said that she has paid the DP so people can't cancel.
Man, i felt so horrible.. i mean i dun even wanna go there but i still have to pay? it's such a waste of money..
I know that i'm being irresponsible, and i'm totally selfish. But i guess i'm also a human being..
And there are way more reasons that i dun wanna go thre, besides the fact that it's expensive, i may also have an event i have to attend which will cost more money to dad. I felt bad for him, i just bought a new phone and now i'm gonna ask him for more money? for the concerts and also the trip? HELL NO!
I feel horrible now as a result. Sometimes i wonder, why do i have to be this selfish? I'm causing problems for my friends and i just feel terrible.
Yes, i hate myself for that.. but then again, i have to do what i was supposed to do from the start.
I just hope she will forgive what i did and so does God. I hate myself for lying and be this selfish...:(
Anyway that's all maybe for today.. i'm not really in the mood to write things now, so i'll just continue sometime later hahaha
Ciaosuuu~!
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