One Night...

It all happened in just one single night. Not everything was bad but the bad things seemed to have overcome the good things..

Sorry for the very depressing intro, but i honestly don't know what am i supposed to do anymore, it's been a fun depressing day...

SO

Tonight was one of my closest friend's birthday celebration. And i happened to be one of the dancer for her party:D

Yes, we're getting to the fun stuff HAHA

Let's just say that the birthday girl is called I. so a couple of days ago, I has told me that my crush is gonna be at the party. Ofcourse i was excited at first, i mean, it's been long since the last i saw him:) But what i didn't realize was the fact that i also have to dance in front of him:|

I didn't think that he would actually be in front of me, seeing me dance but i was WRONG. He was right in front of me and O.M.G. All the dance moves that i've memorised the day earlier came into a HUGE BLANK. I didn't remember anything and my mind couldn't stop itself from being stressed out. Yes, i totally humiliated myself, in front of my crush, awesome.

Ok, i've accepted the fact that my image was already ruined. It's not like i expected something better either *sigh*

Anyway the party started and blablabla.. Somehow it was really awkward for me whenever he was near me:/ i guess i still KINDA idolize him lol

It sounds really creepy, but i couldn't help myself to not stare at him==" i know that i'm such a lame stalker but it was the only thing that i couldn't stop myself from doing it:>

So the night proceed well and yes he looked soo cool throughout the night and again, he's made another good impression~~~ Not to mention how well dressed he was tonight:D *totally exaggerating but whocares*

But for me, the best part was that i could finally listen to his voice. Again, why am i so creepy OMG

It was the first time and i was somehow happy because of that... weird meee~:DDDD i guess i have to thank I again n again for making all this happen to me! *hugs*

There are still alot of things that i'd like to talk about him but i don't wanna bore u with all the facts why he's so admirable and stuff:)

moving on to the second thing.

A really bad thing has happened to one of my closest friend. I'm not gonna say a name and i feel so sorry for her:( She kept blaming her self and didn't stop crying again and again. And as usual, as the most useless friend in the world, i didn't know what was the right thing to say or what can i say to cheer her up.

It was really sad for me to watch her suffer like that:( I really suck when it comes to consoling upset people. Since i'm not exactly that smart or knowledgeable about human psychology.......

But i hope what i did was enough.. I tried my best already, by giving her my useless advice and i can't do anything else besides wishing her nothing but happiness:D

anddd finally the last thing that had happened tonight...

On my way home, i got a message from my teacher, asking whether i've received a mail or no. Then it hit me, i remembered what I said that she was very worried for this week because this week was the final decision whether you were gonna pass the grade or NO. And i remembered her saying that if she got a mail, it would mean that she has failed.

Instead, i was the one who was screwed.

My mind went blank all of a sudden. I didn't know whether i was supposed to be happy or to be sad. I mean, if i didn't pass the grade, i would probably be transferred to the bilingual class. I said to myself that i was prepared to do this since i got along with most of the people and stuff, but something in my heart felt like sighing again and again.

I guess what made me feel that way was the fact that I HAVE FAILED MYSELF. 

And it's not just me who i have failed, there's also my dad whom i've disappointed:(

But when i think about it again, i guess my dad would be happier if i joined the bilingual programmed since it would definitely ease his burden.

okay, end of stories~

In the end, i still believe that everything happens for a reason. Whether it's a good or bad thing, It all happens because it's what's good for me. According to God ofcourse..

I guess everything has its own positive side:) if i joined the bilingual class, maybe my life would change into a better one? maybe i'll gain more friends than before? And what's even better is that i don't have to take the stupid A level examination when everyone's already on vacation:p

AND i also have to remember that i have to thank God for the good things that have happened to me today:)))))))) yes, i guess i'm still very much happy about that~

So folks, whether you think that your life sucks very much now or no, you should read what i just wrote>:D it's not like i'm trying to show off or anything, but i hope i can help more people to try to do what i'm doing:) It's definitely a rough road, but we still have to face it with optimism in the end;;)

Ok, i guess that's the end for today's depressing yet pleasant-ing entry..

Hope u guys enjoy it and i hope it's also gonna be helpful HAHA

BYEEE

Ciaosuuu!~~~

Opening Up A New Chapter Of Life...

YES, it's 30 more minutes before the mighty new year. and YES again, i'm as sleepy as hell right now..

I can't stop yawning like crazy while the super noisy fireworks can't stop making loud noise which is annoying==

N No i am not drunk while writing this entry, evnthough i very much sound like i am, but i'm just very" dizzy since i'd eaten so much meat n soft drink. Now i'm not even sure where my mind is floating to #yawning

Rite, so 2013 is coming soon.

• do i have regrets from the things i've done in 2012?

PLENTY

But what can i do anyway? It's all been done, and the best that i can do is to look forward to the future and never look back.

• what are the best memories from the mighty year of 2012?

Not that much, but there's owl city, the mighty malang trip, PEDC and some new crushes of mine HAHA

• do i look forward for this new year of 2013?

Noooot really:) I mean, i'm still gonna be the same me, who's always easily frustrated and depressed. Not to mention how often i complain about my awsome life. AND how annoying i always am to people. WITH the laziness that's always within me. Still the same as ever.

• any new year resolution?

A LOT. not sure i can do all of em tho, especially the part about being diligent, have more confidence, being more outgoing person n most importantly, not annoy people most of the time.

END OF NEW YEAR THINGY TALK.

so i'm not really sure what this entry is all about, but i just wanna write something before this year is offcially over.

so a message for the mighty 2012:

Dear 2012, i know that you haven't been exactly my favorite year ever, since most of the time in this year, i get depressed even more oftenly and easily. And lots of weird things happened in this year. Some good, some bad. And it's gonna be so weird when i'm looking back to all of this. Despite all of that, i'm also glad to have this year in my life, since i can meet new people, get to know my crazy fun friends much better and also get along more with my family members. So good bye 2012, we'll never meet again, but i'll surely remember you. You're memorable in both good and bad ways:)

RITE, this entry is getting even weirder and weirder.__.

So it's 15 more mins before new year, which means i have to go!

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS

MAY ALL THE BLESSING BE WITH ALL OF YOU

AND MAY THIS NEW YEAR BE A NEW BEGINNING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EVEN BETTER

AND ALSO TO OTHERS \m/

Ciaosuuuu~!!!!

When Things Have Become Clear...

I have to be honest, this post is gonna be very embarrassing... and very private.. but i want my future self to remember this moment, the quirkiness that occasionally happens in my life... It just means that i'm the one who's weird.. HAHA

So you see, the Major impact of PEDC, apparently is still within me...

And wat's worse? It was even following me around to the mighty Batu or should i say somwhere in Malang..:|

RITE, i should just get started..

I'm sure that most of my classmates and some of my friends alredy knw this...

Yes, i do have a crush on someone who i'm not supposed to like._. and FYI, he's NOT the one who likes my hairr~ 

K, why do i say he's not who i'm supposed to like? That's because he lives farfarfar away from where i live now.____.

Sounds sad, i know...

But anyways, i got this weird feeling out of nowhere.. i don't understand why i could develop such weird feelings and stuffs=="

i mean, when i met him first, i felt nothing. there was even no INSTANT CRUSH.. like wat i've always had when i think a guy's my type:p

So, basically, i kinda had a crush on me, by my super "sesat" assumption actually.. i might have assumed that he has a crush on me which actually caught my attention and not to mention the TEASING! he was teased by his friends n stuff n it got me thinking that wat i thought was actually true...

but well, this is just purely my misguided untrue presumption..... so please forgive my full of myself attitude=)

And this secret of mine was officially exposed on the mighty Malang Trip.. when i was playing TRUTH N DARE w/ my classmates._.

and i'm gonna stop talking about him cuz it'll just make me even moree depressed n stuff...

cuz i think i like him n it's such a shame to let him get away so easily._______. plus, i think he's nice n fun 2 talk 2... well at least thts wat i think ehehe and if he's meant 4 me, mayb we'll meet again in d future! ha! just kidding:P

RITE, so folks, unfortunately my school life isn't getting anybetter! My scores for the examination was horrible as predicted.... and not to mention the school works that are piling up for every each day..

I know it was the time for me to finally be more diligent, but i just can't and i don't know why..

Maybe that's because i can't overcome my own laziness but that's just purely B*llsh*t...

YEa well, this year is definitely not my year, but i'm just hoping that i could actually survive the year and move on safely to the next one... HAHA

ok so, there are 2 things that i'm kinda excited for tho! which are!:

1. O's dinner party

2. Owl City's Concert w/ O! HAHAHAHA

Yes, i'm super pumped and i totally can't wait~

butt before that, i have to work on my school probs n stuff and try to get my mind off u know who:D

So i'm just gonna stop now since i'm getting more and more sleepy now so bye!

Ciaosuuuu~!!!!

That Moment When You Couldn't Think Of Anything Else Besides Happiness...

GOODNESS, i know i'm not supposed to write now, i'm supposed to sleep and prepare for tom, which is d BIG day but i can't help myself since today was officially, "one of my greatest/bestest day ever".

So, if you read my blog from last year, around september too, there was this debating competition called PEDC in my school. AND, i had my part there as the liaison officer... *if ur interested to know wat's liaison officer/LO, just read my previous post on last year:p

a.n.y.w.a.y.

so this year, i am taking care of students from... let's just say a school not from my city:p

I must say that they'r nice:) And most importantly, i support them with all my might! #haha

And today was actually when d REAL competition began! and it was intense, ladies n gentlemen! HAHAHA

well to be honest, i sometimes don't really understand wat were they talking about... butt i sometimes listened and the topics were actually pretty interesting;;)

so todayyy, my team won 2 rounds... and i'm pretty proud of em...HAHAHAHAHAH #wtf

but i really am, til now:)

so again, the thing is, being an LO is so much fun, cuz u got to know several new people there, u learn how to interact with strangers... it was pretty much all awkward but i did my best already anyway:p

NOT TO MENTION how much craziness i xperienced with my fellow LOs... MAANNNNN

I had so much fun with all of em... I'm gonna miss today sooooo bad for sure...

and to be honest *again*, i dun really care about my bio test on monday after wat happened today...~

funniest moment ever, had to be when i tried to eat some chocolate crackers with N while we were doing our job..

It was so hard to hide the stupid crackers, but my stomach wanted to eat something so i laughed for almost 10 mins when d debate started and started eating those crackers...=u=

BUTT readers, that's not the CLIMAX YET.

and i'm still gonna blabber about how all the LOs informed their teams whether they got into top 8 or NOT.

so all the LOs were given a glass of orange colored juice.. and they were 2 diff kinds of taste, mango and orange.. so the winning team or the top 8 will taste the mango juice while d rest got orange juice..

And soo yeaaah.. my team got the superb mango juice and i was just so excited for them~

unfortunately, they were some teams that i felt bad because of their lost. like my friend, Y's team... MAN, yall should have seen all their faces.. they were so sad and gloomy... i felt bad for em.. and Y also told me that she felt sorry like so terribly for em:'(

and THIS was when the real thing started!

So uhm, Y then asked me to take her pic with her team together, for the last memory..

i decided to help her, since well, i felt bad for them, really...

DEN, when i went to approached them, i could hear that someone from her team was saying something that i couldn't hear since well, i'm kinda deaf:)

i did not look at him back since i thought he was saying smething to Y...

BUTT den after a second later, he said something about not being heard...

then i realized, OMG, he was talking to me! #panicked/shocked

Then i asked him again, 2 friggin times!== since i couldn't listen wat he was trying to say...

n guess wat he said....

"i like ur hair"

DUDES, for someone like me, who has never been complimented on the hair department, it was like.... u were sent away to the sky with the super weird fluffy feeling==

But it was such a pleasing compliment;;) and eventho it was embarrassing..

Yeahhyeah, u must be thinking that i'm an easy girl or watsoever, but still, i am rarely complimented on those kind of things, so yeah, it really made me happy...:) and actually, i acted kinda crazy afterwards since i couldn't stop smiling and laughing to myself._. but i was so happy so wat?:p

actually, there was a whole lot other story about Y's team about i'm just too lazy to write em al down...

i just want today to not be forgotten:D

such a fine day eeh?:) i had so much fun and the fun continued for tom:)

wish my team luck and i hope tom's also gonna be super friggin awesome^^

I'm gonna take off now since i have to sleeepp, BYE

Ciaossuu!!~

Review Of Jane By Design...

So folks... Hello again.. first of all, i just wanna apologizeee for not updating for so long.. 

But don't blame me though, it's not AAALLL my fault... blame my laziness and most importantly SCHOOL.

Examination time has finally over and i'm officially free... 

But anyways, i'm gonna be talking about something else now.. Which is about a new show that i'm currently watching now and IT IS, "Jane By Design"

Synopsis:

A case of mistaken identity has a dateless high school outsider living a double life as a twenty-something career girl in the fashion world.

Impression:

When i first looked at this series, i wasn't even a bit interested to watch it.. It seemed, boring and way too cliche to me..BUTT

i accidentally watched it at Star World at one time and MATES!

 It was totally the opposite from my assumption...

 Jane By Design is seriously adorable.. I love how the story progress and I love the characters!<333 p="p">

 They'r just simply amazing and i LUV em #tooexcited

Characters:

Jane Quimby

She's the funniest and not to mention, the most adorable main character i've ever seen before! I love how naive and nice she is.. And she's so pretty and i love her fashion style..MyMy

Billy Nutter

OHHH MY!! Billy is my fav character EVER! he's everything that i've always wanted to have... He's such a caring, loyal, super cool and HOT guy! haha He's just wayyy too cute and his charm just mesmerized me and MAAAN, i admire him sooooo MUCH!!

 

Well again, i'm sorry for making the post so short... cuz i'm currently writing it at school and i'm still way sleepy and i wanna go home and sleep;;)

So anyways, thank you for being such loyal readers.. and Enjoy and BYE:)

Ciaosuuu!~!

It Takes A Long Time To Grow Young, Oscar WIlde

Hellooo again folks!!!! Welcome once again to my mighty blog:)

Now, i'm gonna stop with all those reviews n start to write more again about my lifeeeee... Sounds boring. I know.. but can't help it tho:p

So then, from the title, i'm pretty sure u'll understand wat's the entry's all about...

YES FOLKS, last friday, i was celebrating one my friend's SWEET 17~!

OH yes, it was a lot of fun...

I took lots of pictures theree~ with my beloved friends of course:)

Well i also have to say that i'm not particularly close w/ the bday girl so yeaah, all the fun things only happened between me n my besties #hugging

There were lots of performances n weird games= =

but i still think that some of the games were too............. :) #notgonnasayit

The mighty bday celebration was held in Deruzzi... it's my first time being there, so i was so stunned bcuz the place is HUGE n super elegant!

anyway, the day was not as beautiful as i just told yall just now.. since the preparation for the party was like one of the worst moment of my life #argh

We had to rush to do almost everything which was tiring physically n mentally seriously==

THE DAMN TRAFFIC was also not helping @ ALL.

The situation from the salon to the party place was a total chaos. BUTT as soon as i reached the place, it all disappeared quickly:) HAHA

Relax folks, u haven't reached the best part YET.

SO, basically there were like tons of people there... n yeah of course, there were lots of people from my school...

THEN i found out that there were also some people from my friend's old school...N between those people, there were some guys that were actually my junior when i was in junior high school... before i moved at the 8th grade...

OHHH MY, after the long 3 or 4 years, i finally saw him again with my own very eyes!

MY old crush!LOLOLOLOL

 n he was even better than before<3 a="a" crush="crush" got="got" him="him" i="i" on="on" p="p" so="so" still="still" wat="wat" yeayea="yeayea">

But that one thing was one of the thing that made me smile that night... i can't even stop smiling now #truth

I know that he played basketball when we were on the same school n i miss his play...  n he's gotten so much taller, n charming:3 He was also wearing a SUIT! OWMY! i love guys with suits, seriously:") #sinceivebeenwatchingsuits

MANMAN, i really sound like a very girlish girl just now... but well, tht friday was a good day after all, so i dun care:)

BTW, i've told V, about him at that time, so she was sooo super curious about who he was:p but unfortunately she didn't get a chance to see him, so yea... wateverr:p

RITE, done with those girlish stuffs n moving on!

a week after that *ithink* my other fren den invited me to her bday party @ the Trans Hotel.. n man, this was when d fun started!

I had so much fun last night! it was only a simple dinner party, but i couldn't help it but to enjoy the moment so much:D me n my friends took so many pics and we talked and eat GUD STUFFS, like really GOOD STUFF<3 p="p">

i ate scone, medium rare steak, roasted duck, cocktail, sushi, cakes n other other good food i can't mention:P

i have to say taht my hair was kiiiiinda bad or terrible._.

BUT compare to the tons of fun i had, i dun care very much about my hair anymore:)))

i'll just say that the hotel was pretty awesome n i had gud food..

So i guess that's all for today, n i'll see YOU people later! BYE

Ciaosuuu~!!!!

Some Things Are Just More Precious Than Money...

Oh well, hello again my fellow readers! Miss Me?;;) #smacked

Anyway! I shall tell you now, bout this very day!

Since YES my friend, i am officially happy n free temporarily! Why is this so? Well, u c, i got no hws or tests for tom!:DDDD so yeaah, i'm practically free today from all the burden from life<333

Anyway, this is definitely what i wanna talk about today...

I'm just gonna write a piece of my mind slash opinion that i got from religion lesson today.. it was so interesting:p

So it's basically about a topic that says,"Can money buy happiness?"

That was asked by my teacher today, n apparently all my frens have diff opinion from one another..

There r those who said that money can buy happiness while there's also someone tht said it was d opposite n there's even someone who said yes n no..:/

Well, yeaah... i'm practically d only one who disagreed fully..

FYI, i'm just telling d truth, i dun wish to b seen as a holly person by people cuz i know im not:) i'm just trying my best to be one...

SURE, everyone wants to be rich, to buy things that they wish they have, to not experience money difficulty of watsoever....

cuz to be honest, sometimes i do wish that i can b rich so that i can buy all the clothes that i want to have, living a high class lifestyle, have a huge house or even a rich husband:o

BUtt somehow, this thought doesn't really exist on my mind anymore..

today, i dun really care if i can't buy all those stuffs, like d xpensive clothes, gadgets, huge house...  this is 4 real btw!

ONCE again, i'm just expressing my own thoughts..:)

so, how exactly did this happen?

i dun really get it either, i mean, i do recall that my dad has once said to me bout being rich doesn't make u happy n blablablablaa butt i dun really remember if tht was the one tht made me realize._.

i started to notice then, when i first got my iphone..

U c, it didn't exactly make me super happy or anything, well yeah, i was kinda excited for finally having an iphone, but i can tell u one thing folks, tht feeling i have inside my heart cudn't really be described as what u call as happiness...

Then there was also one time that i already forgot when, when i was hanging out w/ my pals perhaps @ ppj? we were talking, having fun as usual n i was just smiley for d whole day=u=

or there was even a time, when i was with my family when we went somewhere i cudn't remember, i just felt like myself, there was peace n something relaxing in my heart..

den it hit me , was  this wat my dad meant? was this d real happiness that he talked about? about being with the people u luv the most on this earth?

Well, since then perhaps, i began to notice how much happiness that had been happening around me in my everyday life... hihihihi

i guess i'm now able to understand more about how to enjoy d real happiness.. n i finally understand what does the "H" word mean...

I know that i have a naive kind of way of thinking n well, my friends do know tht i'm not that smart either, but i'm glad that i'm able to think this way cuz this was what made my life now, n also who n wat i am...:)))

Evntho i hav this method of thinking, it doesn't really mean i don't desire anything tho:p i mean, of course i want something, but it's just not really related to wealthiness n stuff..

this is VERY embarrassing but who cares i'm still gonna write it cuz this is my f*ing blog after all but yes, sometimes, i want people to like me for who i am...

YESYES i do very much know that i'm not the nicest person on earth, in fact, i'm selfish, egoistical, mean, sometimes evil n i even enjoyed to be a b*tch sometimes==

so, it wud mean the world, for people to like me for the real me... cuz u knw, it's just not easy to find the people who can like u for who u are these days:")

there r also times, when i am honestly happy for the people that i luv. like when they're happy, i'm just really glad for them n hoping that the happiness won't go away.. this is so very much true, since i just felt this way on my father's bday a few days ago... it was just such a bless tht day, seeing my father that happy, being smiley n cheerful all day, GOSH, it was such a rare sight... n yeah, it made me even more than happy for him... cuz i luv him the most in this world after all:")

N, one last thing tht i desire so very much is...... well... EHEM", this is even more embarrassing damn it..

but yes, i am a very much normal girl so of course i do want to have that someone who i can share my happiness with, who can give me the beautiful experiences of life that absolutely can't be bought by money n to have someone tht luv me the most in this world....>u< 

i dun really care if that person doesn't have much money, or high status or watever is tht, as long as he is kind,*handsome* n also care for me from all d world, i'm already grateful to have that person to be with me:"))) #i still got my own standards tho, i mean, if he's not my type n i'm not evn in luv w/ that very person for every single day, it doesn't really count as wht i call my socalledhappiness then:p

k, i'm just gonna stop cuz this is getting weirder n weirder==

but i'm glad that i can finally able to express my feelings today, n tell the world how happy i am today... hahahahahLOL

so i'm just gonna go now n take a break from this beautiful day=u=

gonna write later again i suppose!BYE!

P.S. eventho i wrote this, it doesn't mean i don't respect others' opinion, i mean i respect them but i just don't agree with their way of thinking, that's all:) so that's also the reason why i'm writing today.. hihihihi

Ciaosuuuu~!!!!

Distractions By Sweets And Life...

Yeah, you could say that i've been very lazy to write this blog.. BUTT seeing my friend here who just started blogging like a couple of months ago have been soo diligently writing her blog, so i decided to tell something about my life again:)

Indeed a lot of things happened.. The one that i can't stop thinking about and also the ones that make me happy:)
Including the fact that the stupid report card has alredy been given to us! AND I PASSED GRADE 10 peacefully<3
THANK GOD:)

my marks weren't that wow-ing.. i mean at least now i'm able to go to A level! the mighty A LEVEL! hahaaha
yes i'm not kidding... i know the journey is not gonna b easy, but i just have to do this. I know i can and with God, what's impossible anyway?:DDDDD

K... EHM..
Done with the report card thingy and let's move on to the next topic:p

I've been busy with a lot of good happy stuff this week. It's summer after all! i'm so excited hahaha~
the start of this beautiful holiday is not that good though.. But i managed to get through all of em except for one effing thing which is personal and i can't stop thinking about it n kinda making me crazy:(
*this thing makes me unable to stop listening to Mindy Gledhill's songs=.=
sorry folks, i'm just not that ready to write about this prob.. so next time!:3

a.n.y.w.a.y! today my mom officially ciao-ed herself to the country i've always wanted to go... which obviously USA~!!! OMGOMG
I'm indeed disappointed the fact that i can't go. but i'll just let that go and just wait for my mum to come back and bring me lots and lots of souvenirs! SHE HAS TO! HAHALOL

so i think i should tell about how my day goes today huh?
so today's all about my day with VH n her sis! HAHAHAHAHA
it was fun indeed!!

we went swimming together, then even went to BSM!

DUUUDEEESS! we were so pathetically hilarious... LOL i mean, we purposely entered some high class stores that we can't even afford to buy! like Versace, Hugo Boss n lots of other stores.. i can only remember 2:|

here's the thing about today...
"WE ATE LIKE PIGS!"
it's true though hahaha

U see, first, we ate at this restaurant called "Plate For Me" and WOW man!
it was awsomely delicious...<333
we ate spaghetti pesto n pizza! YUMYUMMYY heheheeeee

but the day's not over yet!
we went to Bakerzin then, to buy some desserts! YEAAY

we were gonna eat souffle at first... butt guess what? the price was unbelievably expensive damn it!

and what's worse? the souffle that i wanted was not available.. so i decided to just buy a mango mousse..
it was sweet, mango-ish and tasty! i think!:)))

and sooo, VH decided to buy the raspberry souffle.. which was so expensive.. n not to mention... VERY SOUR-ish! LOLOLOL
B4:

After:

i can't stop laughing literally.. i mean the pudding-cake-like was delicious, i have to admit.. butt! the ice cream? UGH can't stand it at all!
it was super sour and bleeh..
my point is that: WE F-ING HATE IT HAHAHAH

but VH managed to eat em all which was amazed me actually:p

so we ended up walking around n around then without noticing, the day has ended....

YES today was good. n i can't thank anyone else beside my one and only God:) thanku...

K, so maybe that's all for today.. my eyes r getting sleepy n sleepier.. heheee

so c yall later! PEACE UP!




Ciaosuuuu~~!!!!

Secrets In Your Heart...

Well, hello again perhaps?HAHA

it's been a long time n yeah, i'm still a horrible person as ever== wat a life..

Anywy, that's not wht i wanna talk about, i'm actually gonna talk about these past few interesting days.. n regretful n sad n embarrassing n weird...

So just this friday... as usual i talked with my girlfriends... n suddenly the topic became weird slash embarrassing..

actually, i was the one who accidentally brought it up.. SH*T

i told em that i had nvr been in love with anyone== butt it doesn't mean tht i've nvr gotten a crush on someone b4;P

butt, it was fun indeed! it was something new for me n man, i really enjoyed "The Talk"...

What does "The Talk" actually mean? *drumroll*

Actually, there was nothing pretty much that special... it was just talking about boys/guys that we kinda likeLOL

Owh yeah! it was soooooo much fun! n i, unfortunately was the one who admitted first==

I told em that the person's name starts with a LETTER which i'm not telling:P *i only told my girls cuz it was a secret! ha!*

THEeen,, weirdly, T who doesn't even know the person guessed correctly! WOW

V.K then laughed so hard since she knows the person== embarrassing!!!!!!!

but she kinda understood why i like him, cuz he's indeed gud looking==:)

butt, the stupid crush ended on junior highschool, since i rarely saw him these days:) 

UNFORTUNATELY V.H. n T didn't know who the person was... sooo, it was kinda relieving:9

it was totally the first time in my life, telling someone about my feelings or the people that i like:P MANN

But the talk ended early since we had something else to do... n guess wat? i ended up smiling like a crazy person when i was waiting for my guitar teacher because of the stupid talk!! n i couldn't stop thinking about it!! AHAHAHHA

So moving on today...

i had this photoshoot w/ my classmates in Bale Pare.. it was fun n tiring.... we took tons of pics! AHHAAHAH *again

anyway, there was trouble at first, cuz i amazingly put on a wrong dress:"( sh*tty right? so then FORTUNATELY, my friend, V brought an extra dress, so i ended up wearing her dress which was soo short n cute i think:))

The photo shoot went well i guess.. n we had so much fun there... even though it was mostly all about taking pics and talking HEHE there were balloons, wines, flowers, baskets n lots of other properties:o

there was this one shitty thing happened after that, i accidentally hurt my feet cuz of the stupid flat shoes..:"(( it hurts like hell... damndamndamn *sigh*

BUTT the story hasn't ended yet folks!

so the journey continued on our way home.. actually V.K n i join T's car to paskal... there was also V.H there!:))

AND there, officially, THE TALK CONTINUED!

All these 3 crazy people were xtremely insisting... n that was actually my fault, for telling V.H on the day b4, that i've actually got a crush on someone now... *truth* different person from junior highschool though*

I refused at first, by insisting them back to also tell me:)) so T finally confessed bout her old crush but unfortunately i didn't know the person so it was disappointing...=3=

BUTT again, the topic went back to me:"(

they started to suggest things which were true indeed, cuz i was soooo embarrassed for telling them who it was..

V.K promised that she would tell hers if i tell mine.. so after that i finally said it! only the characteristic though.. nyahahahaha:))

i told them that: 

1. He's a kind person, cuz i know the kind of person like him:)

2. He doesn't consider himself as a cool slash handsome looking guy..

I actually told them the things that i kinda like about him== which was embarrassing indeed._.

THEN, guess who guessed rightly this time? that crazy girl V.K!lolol

when she guessed the name, i immediately hide my face and the girls were laughing like crazy... DAMN IT.. n i was kinda blushing of course...=-=

but i guess, sooner or later i have to tell the truth, soooo..:P who cares lahh..:P

i also stupidly told them about the way my eyes were always looking for him.. *uuughh* but 4 real, when u like someone, he just suddenly became the centre of attention of ur eyes, ur eyes just instantly look 4 his presence=="yikes! 

n also, he's always on ur mind whenever n wherever i was==

Then, finally V.K admitted bout hers.. n i was d only one who was laughing weirdly hehehe

but it didn't end there!! u see, V.K n i insisted V.H n T to admit who was the guy they wanted to make him to be their bfs... HEHE so it'd fair for all of us:))

N weeeww... the person that they said were the same, n to make it even weirder, it was also the person that i like..LOL

i guess, our tastes of guys are pretty much the same.. hehehee *high5*

anyway, our talk continued into weddings, after weddings and we even made the stupidest promise ever... we promise that we would pick the rest of us to become the bride's maids!LOLLOL

we even talked about having kids... n V.K also said this weird stupid thing...

"But guys look cute when they were playing with kids."

N SOmehow in a weird way, i just couldn't help myself but to imagine 'him' playing with kids..

then we mocked V.K by telling her that she must b thinking bout the person that she said b4!LOL n V.H also read my mind damn it.. 

and the day ended...

it was tiringggg n super fun!

After the mighty QT4, i am sooo gonna have a sleepover w/ those crazy girls! nyahahahahaha

anyway, QT4 starts next week... so i just hope that i can do my bestest! YEY!!

ok den, i gotta leave now.. i'm bored n tired of typing... but i definitely enjoyed writing this one:)))

SEE yall next week!!! i'll write again after this period of suffering n studying:3

Ciaosuuuu~!!!!!

Some things I Am Not Aware Of..

These days, it just kinda seems that something has been bugging me. I don't really understand it myself though, like what exactly it is and why in the world i have become like this?

I mean, i'm not depressed or frustrated like at all... so that's why i've been n still am confused about what the hell is going on with me==

Still unclear about what am i talking about? Then i'll give you a very simple example..

I, J, am officially no longer motivated or wanting to study slash memorise for tests and quizzes.. D*MN!

It's like i've lost my appetite.. or more like that one purpose or somethin like that== I just feel mostly tired and sleepy all day and all time... I don't really know if it's because of my lack of sleep, but who knows damn it=_=

I guess this can be also called as laziness huh? *scratching my head*

Ok, then one more thing that i'm kinda concerned of==

I've been asking myself this question somehow: "Am i a cold person?"

I mean, it's kinda weird you see, i'm already this old and guess what? I, NOW OFFICIALLY DECLARE THAT I HAVE NEVER FALLEN IN LOVE WITH ANYBODY TIL THIS POINT OF MY LIFE!

Am i even normal FG'sS????

you see, normal teenage girls tend to fall in love and blablabla in this age, but to tell you the truth, i haven't even once=-=

Maybe i just don't understand what love means, also how to love someone fully.. *including the bad side*

I've heard tons of love stories from my friends... n they all just seem... adulty?:D i'm actually implying for mature==

*sigh*

But don't get me wrong though, it's not like i've never been interested in boys, i have actually... a lot of times== BUTT there's something telling me that all this stupid crushes were not LOVE. cuz actually, it eventually goes away in the next couple of months! AM I CRAZY OR SOMETHIN RIGHT?UGH

To tell the truth, i'd been crushing on someone on these couple of months but guess what? IT's all gone now in april... i'm starting to think that i'm a zombie or somethin like that==

I kinda hate myself for being like this, but who knows? I mean this can be really what's best for me? So that i don't have to worry about unnecessary stuff about love? *means i have one less thing to be concerned of* i got other tons of things that i have to b concerned anyway==

AAAAAAAH, F*CK this SH*T! i dun care anymore!!!! let's just talk about other other stuff.. this is so weird..

So yesterday, a crazy thing happened at my house:) YOUSEE, A FRIGGIN CAT ACTUALLY ENTERED THE BATHROOM N NOBODY CAN'T GET IT OUT FROM THERE!LOL

SO DANG disgustingly funny.. since my driver was the one who made it out of my house:) and the cat was already there like a half of an hour since my driver was still with me while i had my course when the mighty cat arrived:P

Yesterday was just hilarious... and i freaked out of course:) the cat was gigantic, brown n EW.. i hate cats<3

Another thing to tell again:D

yousee, i've been sick last week, like real sick... but NOT WITH BIEBER FEVER!!!#WTF

n i just wanna apologize to all people that i've infected..:"( i didn't mean to n i really do hope yall will get well sooN!:) Dang i'm nice:3

i guess that's kinda all for today... i wanna watch some gintamaaa *anime that i'm kinda addicted right now*.. n eat some dried fish fillet?LOL

I'm OFF!

CiaosuuuuU~!