WORST.NIGHT.EVER.

Ok, so something really horrible just happened to me:) And actually, it happened just now. Exactly on this cursed night of the 25th May 2013. Once again, I have succeeded in making a very BAD impression to my friend's parents:)

And that's exactly why i want to write this. So that in the future, i won't do the same thing and NEVER EVER LET THIS KIND OF THING HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN ;_;

Yes, i'm still freaking out about what just happened, but i'm gonna try to calm myself and start writing the story......

Today started horribly. I woke up late with my hair, being messy as always. When i looked at my watch, apparently it was already 10. On that moment, i knew that i barely had time to get ready to go. I had to run here and there, just to prepare the things that i might need for my friend's sweet seventeen dinner party on the night. Then at around 11, my dad, me and my sister with her friend went to V's house since i thought it would be nice to hang around her house and then go to the dinner party together.

I had a pretty good time there. We watched, cooked and talked about nonsense stuffs like we always do. Then at 3.30 we started to prepare ourselves for the dinner party, and finally went together at 6. Most of V's classmates who were invited didn't come so there were not many people there. Then i talked to my friends and blablabla. And somehow the conversation between me and V came to a point where we talked about how badly i behave at her house.____________.

Apparently her dad thought that i was not polite enough as a teenager. And damn. It was like a cannon bomb was fired at me. The guilty feeling inside of me was eating me up. That thought kept reminding me how impolite i was everytime i was at her house, or my other friends' house. it was indeed stressful and i was about to go crazy at that time. I spent the rest of my time on the party by thinking how horrible my image is to her parents.

Ah, before i reached that conversation, i talked to my dad about what time will he pick me up. And apparently he had to eat and do stuff first before he could pick me up. So i decided that it would be a good idea if i just went to V's house and my dad would then pick me up from there.

When we were on our way to V's house (along with her mother and sister), her mom suggested to take me home. I literally ran out of words. I didn't know what to say or what should i do. I had tried everything to refuse the offer countless time. I felt even more terrible after she decided to drive me home instead.

Finally i gave up and just go along with it. I mean, what could possibly go even more wrong?

THEN another unfortunate moment happened as soon as i reached home. I completely forgot that my house maids always slept at around 8.30 because they thought that the whole family would arrive at home late. So as soon as i reached home. i tried to press the bell again and again. It didn't work:) And my house maids were still sleeping soundly. I started to freak out since it started to rain. V's mom then told me to wait inside the car before the front gate was opened.

Inside the car, i tried calling the house. Then something SHITTY happened again. once again i forgot that my phone can't be used to call since no more credit were left. SO YES, i have to borrow V's phone in order to call the house. I tried countless times to call the house but it did not work:) so i tried calling my dad and he didn't answer:) i tried calling my driver to ask my house maids' numbers and he hung up the phone:)

How can i not freak out in this kind of situation??????????

I'd tried almost everything that i could to wake those STUPID MAIDS up and nothing worked. Even V's mom had tried to honk the car for several times. And nothing seemed to work. I was desperate and I panicked. And in the midst of the chaos situation, i said something that kind of indicated that V's mom shouldn't had taken me home. I literally about to killed myself when i realized about what i just said.

Then i finally got an idea to end this SUPER AWKWARD SITUATION.

I climbed the front gate and started banging the door like crazy. I kept banging and banging the door, hoping that those STUPID MAIDS would finally wake up and save me from this hell. And after a minute of two, the front door was finally opened. I was so pissed and glad at the same time.

After that i took my bags from V's car and while apologizing again and again at the same time. And apparently, her phone that i used to call my house, dad and driver was inside one of my bag. Yes, another unfortunate situation i suppose. So after all that, V's family finally went home safely. And me? I'm feeling more than guilty than ever until this point.

So folks, from this embarrassing situation of mine, you can learn that you must always think before you act. Because your actions could end up with bad consequences that you have to take. And trust me, it did not feel good at ALL:)

So i guess that's all for today. Starting to get sick of writing and i didn't wanna make my entry too long.

SO SEE YALL NEXT TIME!

Ciaosuuuu~!!!!

The Future Is Waiting For Us...

Yes indeed, nobody can't deny that. The future is something that everyone is waiting for. And nobody knows what's gonna happen in the future, which concerns me even more...

So basically, i'm writing this because i just had an argument with my dad because i asked him something.

Why did i ask? The answer was simple, I was curious.

A few days ago, me and my dad met this agent from AXEL? to discuss about the result of test about my interest and personality 2 weeks ago..

So basically, the test's result was pretty accurate to me, especially about my personality. Not to mention about my interest, which mostly was about my choice of major for university.

It was nutrition/dietitian.. i was pretty happy with the result, since i know i love biology and nutrition but apparently, my dad didn't think so...

On our way back, i asked him about how was the meeting with the agent and stuff. I wondered about what did he think about me being a nutritionist and stuff. And after getting his answer, somehow i just got the impression that he wasn't all agreeing about the whole nutritionist stuff. I stayed silent, the end of discussion.

Moving on today, once again i asked him, why did he thought that being a nutritionist is good? Why did he say so?

And i got all the answer that i need.

Apparently, he was concerned about the tuition, since the agent said that it could be expensive.

He also kept talking about how in here, in my EFFING country, Nutritionists are still not that needed.

Then i answered back furiously, by saying that i don't even wanna live in this pitiful country anymore! I wanna get out of here, as soon as i can! but then he replied by saying stuffs that i didn't even listened anymore...

He was also talking about SOMETHING which practically meant that it didn't matter what kind of job women have, since they would finally end up stay at home and take care of their children.

I was offended. Like how could he say that? He doesn't even know a thing about me! Does he even know that i'm still considering whether i wanna get married or not? How could he know that i would quit my job just to take care of children that i might don't even want to have?

I'm sorry dad, but i'm just not that kind of girl/woman. I'm not an ordinary woman who's willing to do anything just to have a happy family with lots of children.

I don't even know what i want!

I don't even know what does my dad want me to be? A business person like my cousin? Not a chance. Well maybe after seeing me fail, he would actually realize that i can't do business, since i use my feelings A LOT.

but i know what i have to do to survive this cruel adult world. By having a decent job. And i have chosen what i wanna to pursue. What i want to be when i'm an adult.

Maybe, just maybe, i'll change my mind after meeting a guy. But still, i don't wanna be told. I don't care if nobody loves me because of that, but it's my FUCKING LIFE.

I deserve to be happy with my own way.. Maybe i'll have a family, but it doesn't mean i wanna quit my job just because of THAT.

My present self doesn't even like children now.. My friends told me like a thousand times already that my point of view might change after i have a children, but guess wat? I don't have one now and i do k now that i still don't like children even now...

I deeply know that God has a plan for all of us. Even the ones who don't really appreciate life, like myself. So why do i have to be worried? Why do people have to be worried when they know that their lives have already been planned by God. And they should also know that the mighty plan that He has made isn't just a plan, it's a beautiful master plan that God has made to make us happy.

I have been having a motivational problem, since i've been like more than lazy these couple of weeks. And the only thing that i could actually study and have fun at the same time is Biology. I love that subject, i do. And why is it so wrong?

I mean i don't wanna become an artisan, musician, or even actress, i actually wanna be a nutritionist which is actually pretty hard n cool and it just so happens that it's what i love to do. My dad should've been more appreciative, since  didn't choose majors like design, arts n stuff. Since i know that his narrow mind wouldn't believe that such majors would help me survive later in the future.

Sometimes i wonder, would i be appreciated if i were more normal? like other girls? my friends? who actually want children and have a big happy family?

Am i actually right about not wanting any children if i know that i couldn't be able to take care of them? People said that they don't wanna live alone and miserable in the future, so they MAKE children.

Well you know wat, i don't care about that.

Maybe i'll regret this decision SO much later in the future, but i still think that it's pretty selfish if you want to have children just because you don't wanna be alone when ur an elder.

I hope that i can actually find my real reason to have children. I really do hope so.

Am i just too careless to not fear the future? I don't even know if that's wrong or right.

But whatever happens in the future, i'll still appreciate it, i'll try my best to... because i know that it's the story of MY LIFE. and God has made the perfect plan to make it blossom into happiness that i can't even imagine.

The Things I Should Have Done...

So FOLKS, please do forgive me for the absent... YES, i know that i haven't written anything this couple of weeks, but don't blame me, blame my mighty companion, Mr. Laziness and also Mrs. Business.

Anyway, to begin this entry, i first wanna apologize for keep making depressing and uninteresting entries... and yeaaah, this one is pretty much gonna be the same...

And actually, I am currently listening to David Choi's songs so it kiiiinda made me wanna write cuz his songs r so mellow" n relaxing n chilling~u~

So, wat i'm about to discuss today is actually about MYSELF again..

sorry 4 being wayy too self-centred, but this is my own friggin blog anyway so WHO D F Cares?:P

Til this moment, i just realized this fully, the fact that i have CHANGED since i entered highschool. N i think it's not a really good change.. #sighing

i dun even understand it myself.. but when i think back again, i was such a diff person back then..

Somehow, i was super motivated, diligent, willing to do anything n blablabla..

N Look at me now! i'm super lazy, sleepy all the time n i even think that i've become even stupider!ugh

What has gotten into me? well, don't ask me since i don't even understand wat the question means._.

I've been kiiinda experiencing this for almost more than a year... n now...  it's just worse than before.... SERIOUSLY DEPRESSING

This holiday was d worst one... my laziness has completely taken over. whether it's my mind, my body, my soul?#wtf

but i have some serious problem with the word B*LLSH*T..

i told my self, just rite before the holiday that i'm gonna read books, study, do homeworks and BE DILIGENT through the holiday.. BUT unfortunately, school starts tom n i haven't done a single thing..

WTF is wrong with me?

I'm seriously angry n furious at myself...

eventho i've realized this very fact, it doesn't really make me become better either since til now, I haven't finished a single thing..

This awful things called laziness has also affected my social life... like sometimes, i was even TOO LAZY TO TALK. WTH was tht rite?

I know that i often dream the impossible... Like living in NYC, travel around the world n do other awesome stuffs... like change d world?

Those dreams are like bullshits to me now...

i was like, "WTF mate? u wanna achieve those dreams but u dun wanna work hard for it? How wud u expect them to eventually come true then?"

K, so i'm practically lost now:| i dunno wat shud i do to make everything better n blablblblba...#sighing

see? i'm even too lazy to write now... i now believe that i , myself have a SERIOUS motivation problem...

so i gotta go now, cuz i'm too lazy to do anything besides watching eating n resting....

SO BYE

Ciaosuuu~!!

The Way It Is Supposed To Be..

It's been what? 2 weeks? Yes indeed readers, i haven't been that diligent to write more entries since my days were just filled with nothing but laziness..

but trust me, those days r so very much enjoyable n they've been very good to me:)

So anyway, there r lots of things to write, starting with last week:P

There were 2 bday celebration last week! which were F n Rs'!

F's bday was in Azzura, PPJ...

N on that very day, i ate something so terrible== it was super sour, weird n lemony? EW

The stupid sour fish was disgusting, i wouldn't even wanna go to that place anymore.. I'm so friggin traumatized with that sour dori fish:"(

And @ that time,i was still sick, with mucusy nose n sore throat.. What a life right? My head was also pounding so hard after a while being there=-=

But i had fun:D Well, hanging out w/ friends is always fun indeed:*

So on the night of the next day, it was R's turn...

That day was as busy as hell! Damn! on dat stupid day, i found out that i will have my guitar examination on sunday, so i have to go to my guitar course first==

after my guitar course, i immediately went home, washed my hair, dried them and dressed up..

My hair was still horrible but whocares?== The dress was still gorgeous:)

So den on a restaurant called Queen, i ate juan lo there? It was sooo damn delicioussss<3 i wanna eat it again..:)

Yeah, well d rest of the days were pretty much just like that... lots of dancing practice n idling around with myself...

Ah! that's right! On sunday i have the stupid guitar exam n it was such a mess:)) i am pretty much sure that i'm so gonna fail, i mean, i played so horribly and nervously... n i hate the person beside me! Why d hell was he so good at playing it! i feel like the worst person in this worldTT

N it didn't get better after dat..

So me n V had promised to each other to meet up at church on sunday afternoon.. in order to become an altar girl or something like that...

IT was SUPER EMBARRASSING.. There were only kids there! like stupid careless kids! n we were d only ones who r teenagers... I'm sooooooo embarrassed== not to mention the mentor is someone i knew once! i even talked to him before== when i was in the elementary school.. DANG

But on tuesday,i went out to PPJ w/ my friends... it was fun:) we played Pump n i ate a quiche n finally able to pronounce it!:DDDD

I wasn't able to bring myself to do all the stupid homeworks n all== i don't know why on earth am i this lazy, but it's just really hard to do the hws:"(

i hope i can't finish em all before the deadline...

Anyway, school starts in 2 days n it sucks... why can't holidays be longer? I don't wanna go to school yet!!!!! UGGGHHh

also, QT3 starts next week n i can't even touch those stupid horrifying books:DDDDDD

Okso, dats pretty much the end of my complain n how my days go on with this stupid boring idling life=_=

I'll b writing again soon!

Ciaosuuuuu~!!

Word of d day : TIRED

Aah, another week has passed by.. and yeah, i'm still busy as ever:)

It's tiring indeed.. but this is my f*ck*n life.. so i hav to life it the fullest every single day of my life.. *sigh* SUPER TIRING

this is just not a normal frustration, since it has been going on for like.... 2 months? I don't knw if anyone had noticed, but i just realize that ever since school starts on 2012, everyday is like HELL. and i'm not just babbling cuz it's true.. i'm exhausted dang it!!

anyway, rather than talking about that, i'd rather talk about what happened this week.

Hmm, nothing interesting really happened this week, except the fact that apparently all my hard work has been paid off! That's right! This girl who's currently writing this post is the one who got satisfying scores these days.. i don't really know or understand how did i manage to do all these, it kind of just... happen?

Ah, another thing! since V has moved to my seat *yeay*, it's been.... hmmm... weird?

i mean, i'm glad she moved next to me, but since we talked so much.. i guess i kind of ignore my other seat mate... I AM SUCH A JERK>

But really, i don't really know what am i supposed to do when 2 people are talking to me at the same time== why can't they pick the timing right??? UGH

n now, i felt like extremely bad for the people i may have ignored accidentally=.=

i wish i could say i'm sorry to them... *sigh* why can't i be braver? SH*TTTTTTTT

yeah, i guess i'm kind of mad at myself now... i hope i can do better next week:(

SO now, i'm gonna brag about yesterday:)

so yesterday i was having a math course as usual and we were studying math..

and since i was too overly enthusiastic, i stayed til 7... dang, since when i became this diligent?LOL

but you know, all the hard work was paid off. i totally rocked the test! i hope i didn't make silly mistakes:3

And so, i've been feeling... weird and confuse these days... but also terribly happy... WOW right?:))) but most of these were caused by my stupid imagination... so...=3=

*the most unimportant and stupidest matter i've ever written*

Ah, another thing! I've also been obssessing to american idol and i already got my fav!!:))))) and it's Phil Phillips!!!!!! OMGOMGOMG he's gonna be the next american idol!! HE HAS TO BEE!

changing topic againn..

also, this week, i didn't hang out w/ my friends because of stupid courses:"( i got tons of em.. DANG COURSES! but then again, i will not survive in my study without these courses==

so maybe that's all for today.. i'm terribly sorry for making you to be bored by this post because even though i have nothing to write, i still wanna write somethingHEHEHE

so i guess this is goodnite?:>

CiaosuuuU!

Just Being.. Me('-'*)ｵﾋｻ♪

A week has passed by and guess what? I'm still Sleepyy!:D

Anyways, i got nothing worth to tell you see.. but i'm still writing somehow... WOW

So anyways, a lot of things happened this week and i guess that's what makes me feel sleepy now!! *kinda not making sense due to stressfulness*

let's move back a few days ago:D

ok, monday is fine, but not so much on the night cuz i got a stupid PBL presentation and Math Hw.. but guess what? Tuesday was even worse because i had to make a stupid BI speech for wednesday... eventhough we ended up not having the test in d end(,,#ﾟДﾟ):∴;'･,;`:ｺﾞﾙｧ!!

Wednesday was PISSING. I WAS PISSED for the entire day. that's why i hate school:)

why was i pissed: 1. i got a stupid anne frank quiz

2. i got a chem test which meant i had to study 2 chaps on that nite.. which apparently didn't happen in the end, SH*TTTT

3. my math teacher is insane so he gave us tons of hws to finish, damn.

4. i only got the time from 6 p.m. to do all these stuffs because i just finished my chem course.

WEDNESDAY WAS THE MOST TIRING DAY EVER. TRUST ME. NOT just tiring btw, also mad, crazily boring and tiring.

n also, the seating arrangement in my class was changed on that very day== i was separated from my friends, damn again, but i guess my new seat has a whole new good impact one me TEEHEE

so finally, tom's d last day of the week. i will finally able to rest. sleep all day. eat all day and just chill.

finally, there's one statement i wanna say, it was very very true and came from the bottom of my heart, just kiddin! but 4 real:

"I

H

A

T

E

SCHOOL.."

IT was so friggin stressful, torturing, tiring, merciful, evil and UGH

and trust me *again*, this is not the first time i wanna b a highschool drop out. Living a life like this everyday is HELL. *i guess i'm just kinda frustated now:P*

alrite, enough wid the mockings. i'm so very much tired and i think i will go to the bed earlier than usual.

SO

i guess this is d end...

P.s. no quote~ on hiatusXD

Ciaosuuuu~!

New Year in Other Version.*u*

恭喜发财！新年快乐！万事如意！

alrite, first of all, i don't understand what i just wrote, but they all mean "Happy Lunar New Year!" *i guess*

so, starting with today's entry... i just wanna wish everyone good luck in this new year n i hope happiness will always b wid you:) *this really came from my heart!jk*butt for real.

i must say, this new year is not as amusing as last years'.. a lot of things happened n i can't really write in detailed because these things r personal:p *gomenasai*

but my point is that i've been sad for these 2 days.. n not for stupid reason like i usually did, i mean, this thing is real:(

alrite, moving on....

Lately, i've noticed that i'm a jerk, i know.. but i have changed, even if it's only a little, but it matters!

I've be able to KINDA control my temper, not doing watever i want n so on, then i notice my brother who's in junior high school have become even annoying den ever.

WTF is wrong wid him? I've always ended being pissed off after talking with him, with the feeling of slaughtering him to pieces! *sorry 4 d violent act*

I mean, he can be nice sometimes but most of the times, he's an *ssh*l*

Sorry 4 being so rude to my OWN STUPID DUMB IDIOTIC lil brother, butt i'm soo mad n pissed at him right now.

i guess the reason that i'm this mad is pretty stupid. you see, our computer at home was upgraded a few days ago, so we kinda can install all kinds of games we want *much bigger memory space*

so let's get to the point

MY OWN STUPID DUMB IDIOTIC lil brother acts as if he owns the F*CK*NG computer, WTFFF??? he doesn't own it, it's our family's!! which means i can also use it!!!!!

butt since i already have a laptop, i can't really say anything...==

but i'm still thankful 4 having this laptop because i love this things so much<3

A.N.Y.W.A.Y

really, teenage boy, like my brother is MAD. he thinks that he's always rite n watsoever, makes me want to punch him in d face n sometimes even ************************ -> because it's too violent, it's being censored.

really, i wish that one day, i could say F*CK U! to his face... maybe it'll definitely make me feel much better.

so listen all big sis who has a younger brother. Be aware of your brother because in the times when he grew up, he's always gonna annoy u like hell n not to mention acting like an INSANE person the whole time.but perhaps if you're lucky, your brother wouldn't turn out to be this way.

okeeey, i guess that's all 4 the angry post:D i'm tired of being angry anyway...

i guess i'll just have to wait for the right time to play simsT.T

dat's all 4 today n no quote because i'm furious>:<

Ciaosuuuu~!